Great Holiday Conversation Starters: Tips for Teens with ASD
The holiday season is a time of gathering, joy, and connecting with others. But for teens and young adults with intellectual and developmental differences, it can also bring challenges. Communication, especially with extended family and friends they don’t see often, can feel daunting. This guide is here to make those holiday interactions a little easier, offering practical conversation starters and tips for Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, New Year’s, and Kwanzaa. With these strategies, you’ll help your young ones feel more confident as they navigate the social aspects of the season. Let’s dive in and explore how we can make the holidays a time of connection for everyone.
Creating Conversation Starters for Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving is all about gratitude and sharing moments with loved ones, but it can be challenging to engage in small talk when you’re not sure where to start. Here are some tips to help middle schoolers, high schoolers, and young adults get the conversation flowing during Thanksgiving gatherings.
Talking About Favorite Foods
Food is always a great conversation starter at Thanksgiving. Encourage your child to ask family members, “What’s your favorite Thanksgiving dish?” or “Do you like sweet potato pie or pumpkin pie better?” These questions are simple, but they can spark lively discussions about the dishes on the table and family recipes. Plus, talking about food can help create common ground, making everyone feel comfortable.
Talking about food can go beyond just asking about favorite dishes. It can also involve asking about the story behind a particular recipe. For example, “Who taught you how to make this stuffing?” or “What’s the secret to your mashed potatoes?” These questions invite longer answers and might even lead to a cooking lesson in the kitchen, providing a great opportunity for social bonding and learning new skills.
For teens and young adults who might need a little practice with this, role-playing at home before the gathering can help. Sit together and take turns pretending to ask and answer questions about food. This practice can help them feel more confident when it’s time to interact with others during the actual meal.
Sharing Gratitude
Since Thanksgiving is all about giving thanks, it’s the perfect opportunity to share things they’re grateful for. Teach them to ask, “What’s something you’re thankful for this year?” This can lead to a deeper conversation about the positive moments that family members have experienced. It’s also a great way to model gratitude and help them feel more connected to their loved ones.
To prepare for this, try a “gratitude practice” in the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving. Each day, you can write down one thing your child is thankful for. When the holiday arrives, they’ll have a list of things they can share, which can make it easier to join in the conversation.
Sharing gratitude doesn’t have to be serious all the time. Encourage light-hearted answers too, like being thankful for their favorite hobby, a fun movie they watched, or even a delicious dessert they had. This way, the conversation feels more relaxed and natural.
Family Traditions
Family traditions are another great way to start conversations. Encourage your young one to ask, “What’s your favorite Thanksgiving tradition?” or “Do you remember any fun Thanksgiving moments from when you were a kid?” These questions can bring back fond memories and even inspire new traditions to share together.
Family traditions might include unique activities like a Thanksgiving morning walk, a favorite board game after dinner, or a tradition of watching a particular football game. These questions can open the door for older relatives to share stories from when they were young, giving teens and young adults a way to connect with grandparents or other relatives.
If your child struggles with starting these conversations, you can create a “tradition card” for them. On the card, write down a few tradition-themed questions they can ask during dinner or while relaxing with family. This card can serve as a helpful tool to ease anxiety during social situations.
Seasonal Life Skills Story
If you’re looking for a more guided approach, consider using resources like the story “Jasmine celebrates Thanksgiving with her extended family.” This seasonal life skills story is perfect for helping middle and high school students improve their social skills in a festive context. It’s a great way to introduce conversation topics in a fun and engaging manner. By following Jasmine’s story, your child can see how she navigates Thanksgiving, giving them a relatable example to follow during family gatherings.
Conversation Starters for Christmas and Hanukkah
The holiday season is a time for celebration, whether you’re lighting the menorah or decorating the Christmas tree. Here are some conversation starter tips to make the most of these festive gatherings, helping teens and young adults engage confidently with family and friends.
Talking About Holiday Traditions
Traditions are at the heart of both Christmas and Hanukkah. Encourage questions like, “What’s your favorite holiday tradition?” or “How do you celebrate Hanukkah?” These questions open the door for others to share stories and memories, and they give your child the chance to learn more about different celebrations.
For example, a grandparent might share a story about making latkes during Hanukkah or decorating the Christmas tree with handmade ornaments. These types of conversations can help your child understand the importance of traditions and how they bring families together.
If your child is nervous about starting a conversation, consider giving them a “tradition notebook” where they can write down a few of their favorite holiday traditions before the gathering. This notebook can serve as a helpful reminder of what to talk about and might even become a conversation piece itself.
Favorite Holiday Memories
Memories are another great topic. Suggest questions like, “What’s your favorite holiday memory from when you were a kid?” or “Did you ever get a gift you really loved?” This can lead to fun storytelling and help your child feel included in the family conversation.
Sharing holiday memories can also create opportunities for deeper connections. A relative might share a touching story about a past celebration that taught them a valuable lesson, or they might recall a funny memory that makes everyone laugh. These stories can help your child see the value in listening to others and sharing their own experiences.
To prepare, practice storytelling with your child at home. Take turns sharing a memory and then asking follow-up questions. This practice can make it easier for them to participate in similar conversations during holiday gatherings.
Decorating and Celebrations
With all the holiday lights, decorations, and celebrations, there’s plenty to talk about! Teach your young one to ask, “Do you have a favorite holiday decoration?” or “What’s your favorite part about decorating for Christmas?” These are light-hearted, easy questions that keep the conversation fun and engaging.
Decorating can also be a hands-on activity that provides an opportunity for interaction. If your family decorates a Christmas tree together or sets up a Hanukkah menorah, encourage your child to join in. As they participate, they can naturally ask questions and comment on the process, making the conversation feel more organic.
Discussing decorations can also lead to sharing stories about the meaning behind certain ornaments or family heirlooms. For example, your child could ask, “Why is this ornament special to you?” or “What’s the story behind this decoration?” These questions help deepen the conversation and give family members a chance to share cherished memories.
Holiday Life Skills Story
For a resource that dives deeper into the spirit of the season, try “Nelson as he learns the value of his Christmas memories.” This holiday life skills story is designed to help middle and high school students improve social skills through engaging storytelling. It’s a great way to practice holiday conversations in a relatable context. Nelson’s story can inspire your child to appreciate the holiday season and feel more comfortable sharing their own favorite memories.
Social Skills Tips for New Year’s
New Year’s is a time for fresh starts and new goals. It’s also an opportunity for teens and young adults to practice their social skills during gatherings. Here are a few conversation starter ideas to help them feel comfortable when ringing in the New Year.
Talking About Resolutions
New Year’s resolutions are a natural topic during this time of year. Encourage questions like, “Do you have any New Year’s resolutions?” or “What’s one goal you want to achieve next year?” These questions can spark inspiring conversations and give your child a chance to share their own goals too.
Resolutions can range from small, achievable goals like “I want to learn a new hobby” to more personal aspirations like “I want to be more confident.” For young adults, discussing goals can also be a great way to learn about others’ interests and see how they set their own targets for the year.
To help your child practice talking about resolutions, you can create a “goal board” together at home. Write down a few resolutions they’d like to share, along with ideas for follow-up questions. This visual aid can be a helpful reference during New Year’s gatherings, making it easier for them to join the conversation.
Reflecting on the Past Year
Reflecting on the past year is a great way to engage in meaningful conversations. Help your child ask, “What was your favorite part of this year?” or “Did you try anything new this year?” These questions can lead to thoughtful discussions and help them connect with others on a deeper level.
Reflecting on positive moments, like new experiences or unexpected surprises, can help your child see the value of reminiscing. It’s a great way to connect with family members who might want to share about a special trip, a new hobby, or even a personal achievement they’re proud of.
If your child feels unsure about how to respond during these conversations, remind them that listening is just as important as speaking. They don’t always have to have an answer right away. Simply listening and nodding can make others feel heard and appreciated, which is an important social skill in itself.
New Year’s Eve Celebrations
New Year’s Eve celebrations can vary, so it’s a great topic to explore. Questions like, “How do you usually celebrate New Year’s Eve?” or “Do you have a favorite New Year’s tradition?” can help break the ice and make the evening feel more festive.
Some families might have a tradition of watching the ball drop on TV, while others may enjoy a quiet night at home. Your child’s questions can lead to stories about past celebrations, funny mishaps, or even a surprise tradition that they never knew about.
If they feel nervous about keeping the conversation going, remind them that it’s okay to ask follow-up questions like, “That sounds fun! Have you done it every year?” or “What’s your favorite part about it?” These simple follow-ups can help keep the conversation flowing.
Independent Living Skills Story
For a structured approach to goal-setting conversations, “Join Alexa as she sets goals for the New Year” is a wonderful resource. This story is tailored to help middle and high school students improve their independent living skills, making it a great way to introduce conversations about New Year’s goals and dreams. By following Alexa’s journey, your child can see how setting goals can lead to new opportunities and personal growth.
Kwanzaa Conversations to Build Connections
Kwanzaa is a beautiful celebration of African culture and heritage, emphasizing community, unity, and family. Here are some conversation starter ideas that can help your teen or young adult engage with others during Kwanzaa gatherings.
Learning About Kwanzaa Traditions
If your family celebrates Kwanzaa, or if you’re visiting friends who do, encourage your child to ask, “What’s your favorite Kwanzaa tradition?” or “How does your family celebrate Kwanzaa?” This can be a wonderful opportunity to learn and share cultural traditions, fostering a sense of community and understanding.
Learning about new traditions can also help your child feel more included and curious about the world around them. If they’re unfamiliar with Kwanzaa, you can teach them a little bit about the celebration before attending any gatherings. Knowing even a few key facts can make them feel more comfortable when asking questions.
To make learning about Kwanzaa more interactive, you can create a small booklet together that covers each of the seven days of Kwanzaa and its principles. This way, they’ll have a better understanding of the celebration and feel more confident discussing it with others.
Discussing the Principles of Kwanzaa
Kwanzaa is built around seven core principles. A great conversation starter is asking, “Which Kwanzaa principle is your favorite?” or “How do you practice it during Kwanzaa?” This not only helps others share their thoughts but also encourages your child to think about the values that matter to them.
The seven principles of Kwanzaa—Umoja (Unity), Kujichagulia (Self-Determination), Ujima (Collective Work and Responsibility), Ujamaa (Cooperative Economics), Nia (Purpose), Kuumba (Creativity), and Imani (Faith), offer a rich array of topics for discussion. Even if your child doesn’t celebrate Kwanzaa, learning about these values can be a wonderful way to expand their understanding of different cultures.
Encourage your child to pick a principle that resonates with them and ask about it during family gatherings. For example, “How do you practice creativity during Kwanzaa?” or “What does unity mean to you?” These questions can lead to meaningful conversations that help everyone feel more connected.
Sharing Kwanzaa Recipes
Food is central to Kwanzaa celebrations, too! Encourage questions like, “Do you have a favorite Kwanzaa dish?” or “What’s the best thing you’ve cooked for Kwanzaa?” This can be a fun way to share family recipes and learn about different cultural foods.
Talking about food can also be a great way to break the ice. If your child enjoys cooking or baking, they might even want to help prepare a dish before the gathering and share it with everyone. This way, they can proudly talk about the dish they helped make, which can serve as an easy conversation starter.
For example, if they helped make sweet potato pie, they might ask, “Have you ever made a pie before?” or “Do you like sweet or savory dishes better?” These questions can keep the conversation focused on a shared interest while making your child feel proud of their contributions.
Special Education Activity: How to Dress for All Occasions
When it comes to preparing for any holiday gathering, knowing how to dress is a key skill. The “How to Dress for All Occasions, including Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter” activity is a valuable resource. It’s designed to help teens and young adults with special needs improve their independent living skills, so they can feel confident in their appearance during every celebration. Dressing appropriately for the occasion can make a big difference in how they feel during social interactions, helping them engage with others more confidently.
The holidays offer a chance for everyone to come together, but for teens and young adults with intellectual and developmental differences, it can feel overwhelming. With the right conversation starters and a little bit of practice, your child can feel more at ease during these festive gatherings. Whether it’s Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, New Year’s, or Kwanzaa, helping them engage with others will boost their confidence and make their holiday season brighter. And don’t forget to explore our social stories as well as practical resources like “How to Dress for All Occasions.” These tools can make a world of difference in helping them shine during every holiday moment.
The Adulting on the Spectrum team is excited to hear from you. Please share your experiences and insights in the comments below!
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